Sunday, August 22, 2010

What do yall think of my poem? Need advice how to make it better!?

I threw it together in about two minutes, and need any/all advice on how to make it worth reading. Thanks!





The Best





Never make mistakes


Don鈥檛 show the world you鈥檙e weak


Don鈥檛 let it slip we鈥檙e human


If you can鈥檛 be the best


Why bother at all?


Slackers gain by losing


Overachieves fail by winning





Parents demand flawlessness.


Coaches demand unrealistic results


Leaders demand another thing to take on.


They drill one thing into your mind


From far before you distinguish the truth


Everyone demands the most


From children who know nothing else.





Teaching us so young


With the idea so far fetched


That perfection is possible


If you just work hard enough


Bleed often enough.


Break fast enough.


Fall hard enough.


Win quick enough


Die slow enough;


To do it all again.


We all try to be our best


But the best is not who we are.What do yall think of my poem? Need advice how to make it better!?
This is very good, worth reading :)
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