Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Can you give me advice on how to handle people who gossip about you?

I am to attend a function that I HAVE to go to.





My good friend I'm sure told her relative some very unflattering and unsavory things about me, and her relative is a loud mouth gossip--as is my friend, but it's too late to take back anything I've ever said to her or did with her.





Anyway, I have to attend a big gathering her relative is holding and I'm sure many of the people are aware of me even though I don't even know them!--and some perhaps don't even like me.


What should I do, what should I wear, how should I act?


I can't just not go to this event, it would make things bad.Can you give me advice on how to handle people who gossip about you?
let it all hang out. fishnets, mini-mini-skirts, and a teeny-tiny tube top. long black boots. bring a guy with you and make out with him in a corner, then disappear with him for about an hour. come back looking disheveled. Make sure everyone knows that you met him in a bar two nights before. get totally wasted with whatever they have there. smoke disgusting-smelling cigarrettes. if there wont be alcohol, either bring a flask of vodka or bring pills. almost crash into at least two people on your way out.





this'll shut them all right up.Can you give me advice on how to handle people who gossip about you?
First off you called this person ';good friend'; and you said ';I'm sure she told her relative some very unflattering and unsavory things about me'; and you called her a loud mouth and gossip. Well she's not your friend but that's not the issue right now is it?


You also implied that she did some of these unflattering , unsavory things too...GOOD. First try to relax and think this all through. If she did stuff too she's probally not talking as much as you think. You say it's her relative ... probally not her mother or cousin. Perhaps she's not around this relative enough to gossip about you that much. You are very worried and that why it's seems so Huge to you. This relative is planning a ';BIG GATHERING'; she has lot on her mind...you and your life are not that important to her.She has lots of people coming and trust me within her OWN family that's coming she has enough gossip and crap going with THEM.She's not going to be talking or thinking about you ... much. Anyhow your not a relative. The family will be mostly be catching up and focusing on themselves... not a relatives friend who may have done some unflattering/unsavory things.


Even if they know EVERYTHING they will most likely treat you nicely.Your a guest they are not going to embarrass themselves by bring up negative crap about you.


Now about how to act. Bring a small gift for the hostess and thank her sweetly for inviting you.Complement her on the party decorations, food. Don't stay too near this lady just act natural and be on your most polite behavior.Don't slink around and sit by yourself nor get loud and drunk. Be sweet , ask questions and Listen to people...dont forget to smile. If there is an older person perhaps grandma , grandpa talk to them too. As the party wears down offer to help with any thing but dont insist if they say no. Dont be the last to leave.Thank her again and tell everyone good bye and you enjoyed meeting them.Basically don't make a scene or spectacle of yourself nor be a wall flower. As far as how to dress ... I don't know what the event is or how formal. Try to find out how formal. Best advice to be conservative in your clothing choice. Don't go looking sexy and tramp nor like a frump. Cover the tatoos and take out the facial piercings if you have any .Don't give them something to talk about.


If your polite,well dressed and gracious how can they not like you or treat you decently. I know it doesn't mean much but try to have a good time. It's not going to be nearly as dreadful as your imagining.
Wear what you'd normally wear, act how you'd normally act, and ignore the gossipers. I don't know what they're gossiping about, maybe it's the way you dress - if so then wear something unlike whatever it is you normally wear. Maybe it's the way you act - stop acting like that if it embarasses you - and if it doesn't then who cares?
I never pay attention to gossip stuff , or gossip people. I ignore them, 100 %.For some people (men and women), gossip's behaviour is a habit, to trap them forever.So,as a yahoo's friend, I tell you,is better to ignore the gossip,at all.Smile,be happy and go to the event.Be strong,ignore them.Good luck.
Look, Witchy, basically, you do not need to worry about gossip.





It usually dies out over time.





My advise is don't let it get to you.





If someone asks you ';Is this true that....?'; just ';OMG! What crap? Some people will say the most stupid things!?';





That'll put people in doubt about the rumors and then they'll tend to disbelieve it.





All the best.





Cheers.
I would rethink the My good friend part, none of my good friends would do what you are saying yours did. I would go and just be my self, I would act as if nothing had ever been said. I would smile and laugh, and be a very gracious guest, i would try to do nothing that would lend any truth to what was said about me. I would wear what I normally wear, odds are these people already know how you dress. Be your best self, but be you. Make the best out of an ackward situation. good luck
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